Saturday 23 April 2016

Belgium: Beer, Frites and Bike racing. In that priority!

Time for my first blog from Belgium, apologies it's been a while. 

1st of march I packed my bags and went left for Belgium, land of frites, beer and bike racing. The legs were in good shape. 
But all in all there isn't that much for me to write about. Just been getting the Kms in, riding to and from races building for the early season interclubs, and my big target: Le tour de la Manche at the end of may. However, I crashed out of my first interclub. And haven’t ridden the bike for a week now with knackered shoulder. “The season is long eh”. But I'll be back racing soon. 

I know lots of guys who have already come out to do the odd race or are planning to come out this year. You can go online and read lots of webpages and this and that about kermesse racing, so you can come over thinking that you are pretty prepared. But this is the only guide you need. 

So here are my 20 Things you need to know about kermesse racing:


     You think a 3pm start is great. Until you have to have your pre race meal 2 hours after your breakfast, and feel sick until you get on to the line. 
     Your will be wide awake at night because 6pm start races finish at 9, and when you've got 4 gels in you, you'll be buzzing come 1am.when you turn up to your first kermesse, when you finally find the sign on, which is normally a small, smoky bar or the building on the side of a football field. You have to get your foreigners card. this will take at least 10 minutes due to the lack of communication skills on either side. which will cause a huge queue behind you of Belgian racers blatantly talking about you but not caring because they know you don't understand anything. 
     Not every kermesse has cobblestones! 

     People will stop you and ask you for a photo, and you will oblige even though you have no idea where the photo is going just because it makes you feel good
     2016 sees the restriction of kermesse numbers in March as the fields were too big. So you will now not race in a field bigger than 200...


     If it is windy, compromise your warm up. that 20 minutes will be better spent, shivering on the start line so you don't end up in the gutter for the next hour and a bit. Ride up and down the finishing straight a few times and pretend to do a few sprints. that will be sufficient. 
     If your legs are not dripping in leg oil, which has been rubbed in by your nan/mum outside the family camper, under the supervision of Dad and uncle before the race. You will stand out like a sore thumb. 
     The laps are normally pretty short but even though you have to do it 14 times, it will not go quickly. 
     You will not come out the corner less than 10 places behind where you went in. Learn to live with it. Dive-bombing is completely acceptable

     Don't be put off if there’s a 40-year-old man in your break away with you, he is probably a hitter and will ride you off his wheel later in the race (*cough Mario*)

     They speak 3 languages in Belgium, the only thing you will hear is "hey! you are asshole!" or just plain "Jongen!"
     There is no place to hide. The many amateur photographers will capture you when you are hurting and it will be plastered across Facebook by the time you are home. Despite this, the first thing you do when you get home, is search Facebook for a good profile picture.


     You won't see good odds on you on the Bookmakers board. Probably for the best as the only time you will see the board is when you are no longer in the race...
     No "kermesse" race you have done in any other country will be anything like an actual kermesse. 
     You will get your best result when you ride like a idiot, you are not there to make friends.
     The break where you think “not a chance” will always stick, and the one you go full gas to get across to because all the hitters are in it will immediately come back. Obviously
     Guys will go for the bunch sprint like it is the world championships regardless of how may guys are up the road. If you win said sprint. You may call yourself a sprinter. Even if you roll 50th.
     Whenever you DNF you will feel a horrid sense of shame. If it was due to a mechanical problem or puncture, it will eat away at you because on the results you will given the same placing as the people who have been dropped. 
     The kit colour choices and design will amaze you!

Hopefully this helps you for any future trips that you may have planned!

Success mannen!

Stephen